Good time of Friday, humans!
It’s silly time of the week, and we’re going to explain the meaning of smoke signals.
Human: — Rats, I take it you didn’t find him yet?
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Picking a cook that will follow the menu is mandatory.
Oh Ratlet, what a lovely inspiration you are every morning, for your very teachable cousin, me of course (I’m such an adoring fan), your yuman and all the yumans at large struggling to find their own way to truth and a good cook.
I actually yearn to go burn something in my own kitchen (hopeless impatience at having to watch something cook slowly but well) and walking away to go do something more entertaining.
But because, as I confided in you a few weeks ago, I had totally uninvited visits by your less civilized cousins (I told your about the unsightly messes they made) we’ve had to rip my kitchen apart to find their sneaky tunnelings, and put in a. new (clean!) floor which relegated me to my dining room to eat microwaved ramen every night. You and your cuz should try ramen.
Maybe we should suggest that to the Great Rat Leader of our (formerly) Free World. Instead of eating only Micky Ds and Diet Coke. Might improve his insensitivity to the beautiful spring weather and give us a break from the scud missile “news” of his new ideas every morning. Talk about black smoke. He’s way past that. These are incendiary bombs such as I saw in a rerun of a Rambo movie I watched last night.