Cheese Flu
In which Rat can't wait for it
Good time of day, humans!
Transcript:
Rat: — Hey, Human, got any news of a dangerous cheese flu outbreak?
Rat's Human: — No, I haven’t ever heard of such a thing.
Rat: — Oh well. Please keep in mind you can count on us if you need to destroy some cheese.
They’re actually testing cheese for bird flu but it’s far from certain what would happen if they were to find any as they would «consider next steps» «on a case-by-case basis».
The conspiracy theorist in me however says «a dangerous cheese flu outbreak» is unlikely — because longer shelf life and ample reserves make manufacturing a price-moving emergency much harder.
Every time one of these ridiculous health scare grifts comes along, I wonder if the «journalists» promoting it are really as fatuous, eagerly servile, and spitefully sociopathic as they appear to be. Objectively, yes, of course they are. There's no shortage of proof. But the wretched state of them is still astonishing.
Rat always astounds us with his sensible approach to life.